Imagine being the most elite version of yourself, having more fun and with great ease, whilst noticing others gazing at you with admiration wondering ‘how did they get so incredible?!’
Are you the one looking constantly left and right, being amazed at what others are doing, then looking at yourself and feeling insecure, unworthy and useless?
You can work on all the things you’re bad at, and get them a little better to maybe match up to those you see around you thriving, or you can focus on your natural strengths and supercharge those for the win!
I was someone who always used to look left and right to what others were doing. When I was younger, there wasn’t really any social media, but there were plenty of other drummers I knew and hung out with that would leave me longing to play like they did as I was always in awe of them.
When I hit my late teens and early twenties, social media was in full swing and I was scrolling, looking at what everyone else was doing, the gospel chops, the polyrhythms, the linear fills at a million miles an hour, the swinging jazz players, the incredible musicians others were playing with, I wasn’t doing any of it, which by default (in my head) meant I wasn’t good enough. Why would anyone ever want to play with me?!
The change came for me when I was faced with nothing. A big old empty diary, knowing no one would call for a while, and I thought ‘well this could be a fresh start for me’. Rather than sitting and looking at what everyone else was doing, and wanting to do that, I thought ‘what do I want to be doing? What do I love? What comes naturally to me? What is fun? What is easy?’
I realised all those players I was looking towards, although amazing, did not bring me joy as other things did – actually they mainly brought anxiety! The thing that brought me pure joy and that came fairly naturally was simply: playing songs.
I doubled down on this idea, and honed in on the kinds of songs I loved most, work started flowing, and more begot more. An interesting shift happened for me in that I realised although there is a great benefit to strengthening your weaknesses, the resulting action is still focusing on the worst parts of your playing, and for me, that’s a sure path down the ‘bad mental health route’. However focusing on strengths brings confidence and not only that, you start becoming the best version of yourself in every way.
So how do you supercharge yourself?
Start by asking yourself:
- What has always come naturally to me?
- What do I find fun?
- What is the best thing about what I do?
This doesn’t have to be playing-related. For instance I love connecting with people, and finding out about others’ experiences – although nothing to do with my playing, it is a massive part of my career now.
Next question is:
- How can I lean into that?
- How can I strengthen it?
- What would a successful version of me embodying that look like?
Then double down and do your thing. Stop looking at everyone else. This is your journey, you are unique, and all the little things about you, the way you think, your likes and dislikes, and things that you might think are inconsequential, are potentially the very thing that will make you stand out and be a success in ways you might not even know about yet!
Now go get strong!
Watch this week’s episode as I expand on this idea, and download the free PDF to help focus your thoughts.
Join me on the next Livestream LIVE!
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